The 7 Habits for Building Excellent Volunteer Relationships Learning to say NO in a YES environment
Volunteers are like children. They have specific needs, expectations, and lots of energy. Keeping it all in balance for the good of the organization and the long-term health of your volunteer relationship is like working with a child. This is not a demeaning approach whatsoever, but rather a practical way to work with such a fantastic group of individuals in a mutually rewarding fashion.
After spending more than a quarter century partnering with volunteers and offering my own personal volunteer time for local charities, I have a keen understanding of what volunteers need and want. I have boiled down these to seven critically important areas.
- Ask lots of questions about their wishes and check in periodically
You can't go wrong by asking probing questions about a volunteer's personal and professional needs and desires. Seeking feedback about the appropriate volunteer role, how much time he has to offer, and how your organization "fits" into his life's priorities are important inquiries. These lines of questioning allow you to best position the volunteer, best use his skills and aptitudes, and best manage time and deliverables. Checking in periodically allows you to do a "reality audit," providing you an opportunity to make mid-course corrections. By all means, if the match is not there, don't fake it.
Managing expectations is perhaps the most challenging task we do as professional not-for-profit managers. Just like with children, boundaries are important to a well-functioning relationship. Providing a "no" answer is often more important (and tougher to say) than a "yes" answer. Indeed, most volunteers are nice people and have charitable intentions and big hearts. But often, organizational expectations are not suited to volunteer expectations, and we end up managing a disconnected relationship that leads to ill feelings and unrealized goals. Learn to say "no" and you'll be better for it.
Just like kids, our volunteers yearn for self-confidence. Building new confidence in areas like fundraising, meeting management, program development, organizational marketing, volunteer recruitment, and not-for-profit governance is a noble goal that can yield years of prosperous volunteer growth in your organization. Investing in ongoing volunteer development, training, education, and counsel allows for enrichment, growth, and a valuable long-term and mutually-rewarding relationship. There is no excuse for poor volunteer development!
As Stephen Covey so aptly put it in his bestselling book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Listening intently to your volunteers is both an act of respect and an avenue of learning, exploring, and keeping your organization open to public discourse. Locking out your volunteers is not the answer, however expedient or "safe" it might seem in the short run. I have witnessed over the years to an almost 100% certainty that genuine, honest, and open engagement with your volunteers, no matter the short-term difficulty, is always best for the organization. Please don't confuse this as blind capitulation. I'm not suggesting that we give our volunteers carte blanche decision-making power, but rather we openly debate, discuss, and engage in dialogue. This respect works both ways: volunteers MUST listen intently and respectfully to their professional staff as well.
Many volunteers, especially the new and perhaps younger ones, come to our not-for-profit world with big eyes and lots of bright ambition to build relationships, cure diseases, feed all the hungry babies, and save all the orphaned dogs and cats. These are dreams that our children have, and they are important dreams to have. Many of these volunteers are not game for all the (arduous) processes that our organizations engender, and many of these volunteers can't stomach the idea that we face daily challenges to delivering our missions. But, we must honor their wide-eyed approach and learn from their fresh perspectives. Maybe there is a better mousetrap!
Please don't think you're doing anybody any favors by not asking volunteers to help. They want challenging things to do and look forward to being put to good use. Over the years, I've witnessed more volunteers resign from boards and committees because they were not being put to good use. There is no excuse for poor volunteer management. If you are staring at a brick wall, go back to my first point and begin to ask more questions of your volunteer on how to best employ her skills and aptitudes. Challenge them! They expect it.
Healthy volunteers will have healthy egos. This means that we need to find the best ways to acknowledge their service, provide professional criticism, and build mutually respectful relationships (the "R" word relationships!). Some like quiet praise, while others want public accolades in front of their peers. Some require little guidance, while others need a lot of hand-holding, direction, and instruction. Just like a child, each will have his or her own ego requirements, which must be carefully tended to. My best advice is to take the time to learn the social desires of each of your volunteers and link them with the appropriate staff and/or volunteer partner who can provide those requirements.
Remember: we often recruit volunteers for their skills and professional aptitudes, and find out that we don't have a good match based on their attitudes and habits. |
